With a cast like this, how could Wild Hogs be
anything but absolutely terrible? Though all the film’s
stars have, from time to time, impressed me in a performance
or two, they are typically among the most overrated and least
talented frequently employed actors in Hollywood. This is
certainly not the vehicle to improve any of their reputations.
Wild Hogs is a typical road-movie,
but with a middle-aged boredom we don’t usually find
in a motorcycle flick. Four suburban men who make up the biker
gang “The Wild Hogs,” in an effort to recapture
the freedom of their youth, set out on cross country voyage
on the open road. Of course, each one has his own issue they
must confront along the way, and a conflict with the real
life New Mexico gang the Del Fuegos gives them the motivation
to change their lives.
Doug (Tim Allen) is a dentist who has lived in a suburban
rut since he married and had a child and hopes the road trip
will inject some adventure into his life. Woody (John Travolta)
lives the apparent perfect life, with a high-paying job and
a supermodel wife, but he is really broke and in divorce proceedings,
and instigates the trip as a way to escape his life and spend
time with his closest friends. Bobby (Martin Lawrence) works
days as a plumber and nights at his wife’s beck and
call and wants freedom from her domination. Finally, there’s
Dudley (William H. Macy), a computer programmer, out of touch
with not only a sense of cool, but also any success with women
hopes to improve himself in the trip across the countryside.
And that about sums up the complexity of the characters in
Wild Hogs.
What the film lacks in character depth and development,
it more than makes up for with overacting and emoting. I kept
watching the movie long beyond when I wanted to walk out in
the hopes that maybe I’d witness at least one half-decent
performance. That was the wrong choice. Even typically more
impressive actors like Marisa Tomei and Ray Liotta couldn’t
make anything happen with their cookie-cutter roles. Everyone
in the film is simply playing the same role they’ve
done for years, especially the Hogs themselves.
While the film has few strengths, if any, I
was most disturbed by one element in general. Throughout the
movie, I found that 80% of the jokes were highly homophobic
in nature, and not only offensive, but completely unnecessary.
It’s true that there’s a time and place for everything,
and I firmly believe that even the most offensive joke can
be narratively motivated and successful if used correctly.
But the number of homosexual references and insinuations by
the Hogs, a horny Highway Patrolman (John C. McGinley) and
an out-of-place singer (Kyle Gass.) Perhaps I would have enjoyed
the film more if the writers had taken the risk of going with
something that might be funny on its own, and not just because
it was gay. Homosexuality alone should never be a punchline.
Overall, Wild Hogs is as lame a movie
as the characters it centers around. Unlike the predictable
personal growth of the Hogs as they confront their lives on
the road, the film doesn’t improve with the journey.
To quote Tim Allen in the film, it “takes a trip to
nowhere” fast, and the audience has no choice but to
ride in the sidecar to an utterly humorless and clichéd
conclusion. If I had a dime (hell, even a quarter) for every
time I laughed during this film, I would've still lost money
on this free screening; it cost me $2 to get to the theater
on the subway. I’ve never wanted to watch Easy Rider
more in my life, if only to get this awful aftertaste out
of my mouth.
